Dawson Davies
Barristers & Solicitors
Dawson Davies prides itself on defining our own professional legal standards—with our esteemed Mr. Dawson boasting over 33 years of experience, dedicated exclusively to simple matters and local Western Australian laws.
For our beloved master Mr. Dawson, everything is always very simple. Whether it's ignoring correspondence, dismissing opposing views, or ensuring that even the most straightforward legal matters become unnecessarily complex and lost along the way - you can count on Dawson Davies to approach every case with the same level of care and attention to detail that has made them... well, notorious."
Our expertise and services rendered
Buy 1 & get 1 free!
no limits to time
At Dawson Davies, we specialise in ensuring that no dispute ever reaches a fair and timely resolution. No logic is too sound and no truth too profound — if it can be twisted, contested, or buried in correspondence, we’ll make it happen, slowly.
We will prevent either party from resolving their dispute. We will delay responses to correspondence. We will sit on Court filings until we’re chased. And to ensure the other party takes the blame for any unnecessary delays that they’ve caused, we promptly follow up our delayed responses to demand an immediate response and threaten take action if they continue their delays.
We expertly drag out proceedings as we draw down your funds. Because why settle conflicts quickly - and cut short all our fun - when instead you can be nasty while we take matters to DEFCON 1.
At Dawson Davies, we specialise in strategic distortion of reality. Whether it's lavishing praise on the Court while blatantly disregarding Orders, or submitting Documents so creative they should qualify for a Literary Award, you can count on us to say one thing and do the complete opposite.
From Fabricated Figures in Passing of Accounts to Courtroom Statements that bear No Resemblance to Reality, we take the concept of ‘Zealous Advocacy’ to thrilling new Legal and Ethical Frontiers.
You should see our Mr Dawson in the Courtroom, he is an expert at interjecting his false truths at the right moment. He will cut off the opposition to make false “submissions” as the Court calls them, providing the last word and to discredit any truths being revealed to the Court. He really has no problems whatsoever with defaming and casting aspersions, he’ll stop at nothing to win his case.
Nothing says ‘dedicated legal service’ like an unrelenting barrage of antagonistic letters.
At Dawson Davies, we don’t just correspond — we provoke. Our meticulously crafted letters consistently toe the line between provocation and professional misconduct, ensuring that no dispute ever fades into resolution too quickly.
We thrive on misdirection, circular reasoning, and legal posturing—all while keeping you firmly trapped in an endless cycle of paperwork.
You need not worry about the content of our letters, we follow a very simple method of dismissing anything that the other party has written, by simply stating “quite frankly, your concerns are invalid.”. We will invent a Court procedure or a false legal basis to coerce the other party into your desired outcome.
New fake themes coming soon!
Why let facts get in the way of a good argument?
At Dawson Davies, we elevate misstatements, misinformation, and legal misinterpretations to an art form. Whether misquoting case law, misstating court procedures, or misrepresenting opposing positions, we remain committed to one principle above all else:
Reality is optional.
Click here to browse some claims we’ve got away with. We’ve tricked the opponent, convinced the Court, fooled our own client and actually, it’s so good I think I truly believe some of it myself!
Click here to see an example of how to Pass Accounts when you suddenly get asked by the Court and you haven’t kept a record of the funds you’ve misappropriated or items you have kept for yourself, thrown away and mismanaged. We’ll fabricate you new accounts! No receipts or truth needed.
Our Services
Legal Experts Alliance
Our accomplished team of attorneys brings unparalleled expertise and dedication to every client matter. Trust us to provide “legal” solutions tailored to whoever pays us the most.
We don’t judge. In fact, we don’t really care — whether it’s a crime, an insidious action, or a procedural loophole, we’re here to ensure our clients never face accountability. That’s the Dawson Davies guarantee.
There’s no need to rely on the truth—we certainly don’t. Integrity? A burden. Ethics? A liability. We believe the law is merely a tool to be bent, stretched, and sidestepped as needed.
And don’t worry about the law itself—after all, we’re in Western Australia, where statutes date back to King Charles I and only exist in whatever form our convict founders managed to steal on their way out of England. Outdated? Incoherent? Absolutely. But rewriting them sounds like work, and it’s much easier to exploit them as-is.
At Dawson Davies, we specialise in making sure justice is whatever we say it is—and we do it with the confidence of a firm that knows it’ll never be held accountable.
Probate & Administration
With our strategic ambiguity and expertly crafted delays, we ensure businesses remain entangled in legal complexities for as long as possible. Navigate the legal landscape? Sure. But why rush when confusion is far more profitable?
We also like to use Capital Letters liberally because We Feel that it Makes Everything Appear more Official and is the Perfect Distraction. It’s also a fantastic distraction technique. Plus, it's one of many reasons we’ll avoid any other form of direct communication with the opposing party. After all, why engage in clear discussions when lengthy, overwrought, and ambiguously worded emails can do all the heavy lifting?
We find that speaking without the Use Of Capital Letters quite challenging.
Expert Legal Consultation
Dawson Davies: Where Probate Becomes a Lifelong Journey
At Dawson Davies, we believe probate should be as long, confusing, and emotionally draining as humanly possible. Why settle for efficiency when we can bury you in procedural delays, redundant paperwork, and legal acrobatics designed to exhaust both patience and resources?
Our team is dedicated to ignoring timely responses, overcomplicating straightforward matters, and ensuring that no issue is ever resolved without unnecessary disputes and excessive legal posturing.
For those who value inefficiency, obstruction, and the thrill of watching legal costs spiral out of control, look no further. Dawson Davies: Because Closure is Overrated.
With you as Executor and Dawson Davies at the helm, we’ll ensure that by the time probate is over, the beneficiaries will wish they’d gone with the deceased.
Schedule $500 -
free of success, consultation with
Mr. Dawson
Schedule a consultation with our 33 years of experience legal team, the one and only Mr. Dawson. Let him make everything “quite simple” by shutting down any exploration of your options. Be prepared to take any directions based on his extensive knowledge, don’t worry about your specific needs he knows everything already. You’ll just sign any documents and if he gets anything or disregards a crucial step, you are always able to pursue litigation and don’t worry about him - he’ll be just fine, as his practice any liability the arises is limited by the government scheme.
You can book an appointment today to ensure your rights are placated and your interests ignored by very experienced expertly representation. That’s what solicitors are for!.
Dawson Davies
Barristers & Solicitors
Our law firm prides itself on delivering unparalleled Legal Expertise and Personalized Solutions to meet your unique needs. With Years of Experience, we are Committed to providing you with False but Simple guidance and Steadfast Ruthless support in all Legal Matters. Learn more
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