About us
At Dawson Davies, we understand that legal matters can be stressful—which is why we do our best to make them even more agonising. With years of experience, we take great pride in significantly prolonging the already excruciating process of legal disputes, ensuring maximum frustration for all parties involved.
Founded in 2002, Dawson Davies quickly established itself as a beacon of legal inefficiency in Western Australia. Over the years, we have earned heaps of compliments.
If we were to fail in our duty to you, or if you ever take issue with our conduct, you always have the option of full recourse against us.
Liability limited by a Scheme approved under the Professional Standards Legislation
Who we are
At Dawson Davies, we take pride in defining our own legal standards. “Our Mr Dawson has been practising in the area of Estates for well over 35 years“.
With Mr. Michael Dawson boasting over 35 years of experience exclusively in estate matters and Western Australian laws, you can rest assured that your case will receive the level of oversight and nuance he deems necessary — or at least, what he deems necessary. The actual administration will of course be done by our office and Mr Dawson won’t be involved.
We firmly reject the notion of ethics or professional standards, preferring instead a more “traditional” approach to the law — it’s not about justice being served, or even what is right or wrong.
As a can play every “legal loophole” and canvas the selective nature of our Court system, with just the right amount dubious conjecture to manipulate the outcome.
Just like the out-dated 16th century laws of our state, our legal arguments are full of holes and incoherent absurdities - we’re confident that we can pull off that we are fully compliant with whatever version we find most convenient.
With Mr. Dawson representing you, there’s truly no need for concern—he has it all under control. After all, for him, everything is ‘quite simple’, and he is truly blessed with an unyielding confidence that ensures anything beyond his comprehension is unnecessary, irrelevant, or simply nonexistent.
Whether it’s ignoring correspondence, dismissing opposing views, or turning even the most straightforward legal matters into a bureaucratic maze, you can always count on Dawson Davies to approach every case with the same level of care and meticulous attention to detail that has made them… well, notorious.
Meet the Team
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Mr. Dawson — proudly boasting over 35 years of experience in Western Australian estate administration and expertly squeezing a more than comfortable living out of other people’s grief, stopping at nothing short of misery.
With Mr. Dawson as your representative, there’s no need for concern—he has every aspect of your case firmly in hand. As far as he’s concerned, everything is “quite simply done.” Anything not deemed “very simple” must surely be irrelevant and can confidently be dismissed as “quite frankly unfounded.”
If it poses any challenge or requires deeper analysis, it can be disregarded outright. Mr. Dawson’s expansive yet extraordinarily limited experience is matched only by his unparalleled arrogance. Any dispute that contradicts his assessment is brushed aside, as though it never existed. After all, he’s never been wrong before—because he simply refuses to acknowledge when he is.
You have no reason to question his expertise; he speaks with the unshakable authority of a man who claims vast experience while using it as a shield against scrutiny. No argument, logic, or evidence can penetrate his fortress of self-assurance. If he doesn’t understand it, it must not exist.
FAQs
How long will my case take?
As long as we want it to. Your case will progress at the speed of strategic inconvenience. The more you push, the slower we go. Time is money, and as long as the clock is ticking, we’re winning.
Can I expect timely responses?
Absolutely not. We specialize in the art of delayed communication. Every response is carefully timed for maximum frustration—just long enough to be infuriating but not quite long enough to be ignored. Bonus points if we can make you send a follow-up request first.
What if I send multiple emails and follow up frequently?
We appreciate your dedication to futility. Your persistence will be met with:
Complete silence.
Vague acknowledgment promising a response “in due course.”
Single-line email stating the matter is "under consideration."
If we’re feeling generous, we’ll provide a two-word response that answers nothing.
Do you act in the best interests of your clients?
That depends. If dragging out disputes, intentionally failing to provide what us required by the court, and inflating legal fees align with our client’s interests, then yes, absolutely! Otherwise, we default to acting solely in the best interest of Dawson Davies Solicitors & Barristers.
What’s your strategy for handling disputes?
We follow a proven, battle-tested legal doctrine:
IGNORE.
DELAY.
DEFLECT.
ACCUSE.
DENY.
(Repeat as needed.)
If at any point we’re forced to acknowledge an opposing argument, we will:
Misinterpret it.
Refute a point that wasn’t actually made.
Declare it “quite simply unfounded” with no further explanation.
Will you address all my concerns in correspondence?
Of course not. We will carefully select one irrelevant detail, focus exclusively on that, and completely ignore the actual issue. If you try to redirect us back to the real point, we’ll repeat our original misinterpretation—but this time with more confidence.
What if the court issues an order?
Court orders are suggestions, not obligations. While others may panic and comply, we prefer a more refined approach:
Selective compliance.
Feigning confusion over its meaning.
Requesting endless clarifications while doing nothing.
Simply pretending we didn’t see it.
What are your firm’s ethical standards?
We don’t have any. Ethics are for people who care about justice or principles—we are neither burdened nor distracted by such concepts.